semprezangado | for [nonstopnarcissist]

I didn't want to pin you down. I didn't want to risk a friend I trust implicitly over an infatuation. [ It's easy to imagine Bruce walking away- not because he doesn't care, but because he didn't care that way and it wouldn't have killed him to be rejected.

It'd kill him to lose Bruce's mind, his wit, his sass, his wry humor and serene presence.

He combs his fingers through Bruce's hair, leaning away to look him in the eye. ]

I think I've loved you for longer than I knew what to do with.

[The words catch Bruce off guard, because he'd been expecting to hear to in a million different ways, mostly flippant or teasing but always sincere if you know Tony well enough, but he hadn't quite expected to just hear them straight out like that.

He drops a kiss to the bruise he'd left on Tony earlier, just above the collar of his tee which he sort of likes in a stupidly possessive way.]

We're idiots. I should have said something sooner, but you always felt just a little bit out of reach. I didn't want to try and drag you into something I wasn't sure you wanted.

I've wanted it- [ His head rolls back, giving Bruce as much room as he wants, a shiver rippling down his spine at the memory of getting that bruise. Fooling around on the sofa like teens and it'd been the most intense orgasm he'd had in years-

Because it was with Bruce. ] I just didn't know how to articulate that. Pep knew, didn't mind until she kind of did and it wasn't even because you're you and she got jealous- but because you'd be there with me in the field when I was fighting and she couldn't stand the idea of me getting hurt.

[ Shifting to straddle Bruce's lap is- well- easy. A better angle than Bruce being over him. ] I wanted- I want. I very much want, Bruce.

I hate the idea of you getting hurt. [Even with his suits and tech, Tony's still just human underneath. The scars on his sternum are proof of that. At least Bruce has the big guy's protection, his lapses in memory to help him deal with or just plain ignore what he does in the field. Tony doesn't have that luxury.

And then Tony's in his lap and Bruce's hands are at his waist in a way that shouldn't feel as easy and as natural as it does.] Glad I'm not a homewrecker, at least. I never wanted to get between you two -- you had your on again off again thing, and whenever you were off again it just felt intrusive to bring it up but --

I guess there's no point in rehashing could-haves, is there?

Mostly off, after Ultron. [ And Bruce was gone and everything that came after. Maybe if he'd been better able to ground himself, had more than just Rhodey it wouldn't have happened. Maybe if he'd gotten his head out of his ass he would've seen the lay of the land better.

Doesn't matter.

Ruminating on past mistakes isn't why he's here. He curls, bumping his nose against Bruce's temple, breathing. ] ...Yeah, let's skip 'could have' and go to 'can have'. 'Do have?' Because you do. Have me. Any which way you want.

You're like -- [Bruce ducks his head with a soft laugh and turns to peck Tony on the lips. Somehow, he hadn't expected this much cuddling. This much affection. But Tony has always been very tactile, looking back at it. It would make sense that being in a romantic relationship with him would lead to being attacked with affection like this.

And he can't say he minds.] You're like a very needy cat. It's sweet.

Pep wasn't much for sitting and letting me lean. Rhodey is when he's in town but- [ Tony shrugs. It is what it is. He's a tactile friend, let alone lover, let alone whatever they're going to call this. ] At least I don't claw when I get overstimulated?

[ He just peels away and rolls himself down to the workshop if that's an option. Right now this is- well it could be and dinner should be a thing but he's enjoying the moment, Bruce's heartbeat against his chest, lips against his skin. ] Skin hunger is a thing.

I believe it. [Dinner should happen at some point. But Bruce likes having Tony tucked up against his chest and -- god yes, skin hunger is a thing. It's been so long since Bruce let himself have anything close to this. A brief, fleeting moment ten years ago that might as well be in another lifetime and now to have Tony in his lap is a lot.

But in a good way. His fingers seem to gravitate naturally towards Tony's hair, petting and stroking lightly. A gentle return of affection.] I'm very good at sitting, and I am more than happy to let you lean.

Seriously, studies have been done, physical contact is meant to lower blood pressure, relieve stress, release all kinds of happy chemicals in the brain so- arguments in favor of cuddling and sex to help you manage your problem.

[ More the cuddling in the moment, justified by the aforementioned studies. And the fact that deeply, selfishly- he wants to. And Bruce has given him blanket permission so he's just going to take that and run with it as far as Bruce will let him. It's remarkably easy to just relax and let his mind quiet down, not even to the point of passing out, but just- go quiet like this. Further proving the cat commentary he pushes his head into the pass of Bruce's hands, rumbling. ] You're going to spoil me.

[Tony might be onto something in that line of thought, though Bruce doesn't want to get his hopes up too much. Cuddling is safe, and he likes safe. He likes having boundaries and lines because the last time he went out of them he was turned into a giant green rage monster, as Tony so nicely put it.

But god, he is so touch starved and he's been craving Tony for longer than he'd like to admit. So he will, selfishly, take all he can get until he feels they're pushing too hard against the lines he makes himself stick within]

Ah, so I need more orgasms in my life, is that what you're saying? And you're already spoiled, I'm just encouraging it.

Fifteen years, Bruce-baby. That's not healthy. I mean for someone that makes a life choice to abstain for moral, spiritual, or whatever other reasons- good for them. But I do think you're locking yourself in too tight a box here.

[ Not that he's about to push. This is good, this is fine, and he'd means it. If this is all he ever gets, if this is all Bruce is comfortable giving him? He'll take it gladly and be content, because he'll at least have Bruce.

He reaches up to take one of his hands, bringing it around to rest against his sternum where his heart's beating steady and slow. ] Let me spoil you back, is all I'm saying. I think you might be making a bigger deal of this than you need to.

I think I fall into the "whatever other reasons" category. [Though he does rest his hand on top of Tony's against his chest,
nosing at his cheek with a small, affectionate noise.]

Once we have the bigger bed all set up, we can run some experiments. So long as we take notes,
for science.

Big, angry, green reasons. [ Tony chuffs a soft laugh, squeezing Bruce's hand. ] You know the difference between doing something for fun and doing something for science is? Writing down what happens. Or recording it- should we get a camera involved? I mean, for science. It's okay if you're shy, I'm sure handwritten notes will more than cover everything-

[ Teasing, completely and utterly teasing because this? Is something he's damn sure Bruce would say no to and he's trying to get a blush out of him. ]

No -- no? I'm -- you're terrible -- I hate you. [He tries to cover his face with one hand which doesn't quite hide the red spots on his cheeks. And shoves lightly at Tony's shoulder because oh my god, he's awful.]

I will buy you a thousand notebooks and you can take notes to your heart's content.

No you don't- [ He's cackling, twisting to catch Bruce's hand and cradle it to his chest, lacing their fingers together. Now this he's missed. The safe sort of rise to drag out of Bruce with casual teasing and flirting. ] You don't want a home movie of us? Or, well, of me? What do you have a copy of one of my old tapes? Is that what's happening here, you secret deviant?

I was going to make a joke about your old sex tapes but I thought it was too easy. But oh my god, you really do have some? Oh lord -- no.
I haven't seen any. I have no desire to. [He sort of does. It's a scientific curiosity,
of course, and nothing -- weird. Is it weird, to want to see what Tony is like in bed? A sneak preview, sort of.

Ugh, it's weird. He hides his face against Tony's neck, feeling his ears burning as his blush deepens in embarrassment.]

I have several, some amateur, one or two professionally done when I was just out of MIT and big on doing shit to spite Obie.

[ Still snorting with laughter he combs his fingers through Bruce's hair, thumbs smoothing along the angle of his jaw, rubbing into the skin just behind his ears. ]

What, you don't wanna see jailbait me take it across a fake boardroom table? I'm told that one's pretty good, been awhile since I've seen it. If you get curious Friday's got copies of all of them. You'll have access.

I don't need access. [It's mumbled from somewhere against Tony's shoulder with an embarrassed giggle. He's bright pink, it's terrible, it's awful. Tony knows just how to get him.]

I shouldn't be surprised honestly. You would film your sexual exploits. And keep them. [The professional stuff is a surprise though, and goes into a part of Tony's psychology that Bruce has been deeply reluctant to poke at, likely labeled daddy issues.]

Too bad, you've got it. [ Idle hair petting becomes finger combing, massaging the nape of Bruce's neck as his laughter dies down somewhat. ] What, I'm fucking amazing, and an amazing fuck. Why not have empirical evidence? Well- the only odd one out IS jailbait Stark in the boardroom; Obie tried to cut me off just shy of another masters, I needed the money. Got more from him to keep it from getting to print than I did doing the damn thing, and I got to get my masters.

Also had a good time so- triple Yahtzee.

You did look amazing earlier. [Incredible, what can happen in a day. It feels so easy, falling into this. Having Tony tucked up against him, the two of them tangled up on Bruce's crappy little bed while Tony strokes his hair.

The Obie thing -- Bruce isn't that kind of doctor. He has his own father related issues that he just sort of -- ignores and moves on with his life. Tony wears so much on his sleeve.]

I am amazingly untempted by the idea of jailbait you in the boardroom. I'm perfectly happy with forties Tony here in my lap.

I look better after I've been fucked. I have it on excellent authority.

[ He turns his head enough to brush his lips against Bruce's temple, tipping his head back so he can continue the path across his forehead, down the angle of his jaw, ghost across his lips. ]

Didn't have much time to think about it before but I'm willing to bet you look obscene and wonderful any which way.

I'm very tempted to let you see me any which way. [He should make dinner, but Tony's mouth is there and tempting and he skims his palm over Tony's arm.]

Kiss me and I'll go make dinner for us. And you can finish the bed. Deal?

Deal. [ Specificity counts and Bruce hadn't said how to kiss him-

Despite the temptation to jump right into something heated and intent he starts slow, that same reverent, wondering affection, gentle brushes of his lips chaste and dry and easy before he curls his arms around Bruce's shoulders and angles for something deeper, sweeter. Mostly aimless even if he drags his tongue along the seam of Bruce's lips; he can't help but be a little hungry for him.

He's wondered for years, after all.

A little breathless, he pulls back, eyes half lidded and hazy. ]

Right. I'll be outside, wood-working.

[The way Tony kisses makes Bruce want to slide to his knees right there. He's breathing hard at the end of the kiss and Tony just looks so wanton like this. His arms have found their way around Tony's waist and he's reluctant to let go.]

That's a terrible double-entendre. [It's half a whisper against Tony's mouth, fingers pressed against the small of his back]

Is it? [ His laugh is low and lazy and this- this is familiar for all that it's new to share it with Bruce. Cradling his jaw he leans in, nipping at his bottom lip, tugging, teasing. Pulling back to rumble. ] I mean I could stay inside and work on you instead-

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